Operation: Christmas Party
by Sandileina
Summary: Yaoi. It’s a Christmas party, and guess who’s invited? Seigaku are. And Fudoumine, and Rikkai, and Hyoutei. Beware the total crack…
1. Stage One: Preparations

**Disclaimer: **This would totally have been the Christmas special if I owned it. So, no.

**Rating: **PG

**Warnings: **Some language dotted about, total crackness, some OOC, shounen-ai/yaoi, Niou (he's a warning all by himself – you'll see what I mean. Watch out for his abusive language! It's not very nice or festive).

**Summary: **Yaoi. It's a Christmas party, and guess who's invited? Seigaku are. And Fudoumine, and Rikkai, and Hyoutei. Beware the total crack…

**Author's notes: **This is separate to the Rikkai drabblethings, but I'm including it in the list anyway. **You don't have to have read the ones that come before this, **but it might help a bit.The drabblething list goes:

**Times of Stress**

**Passing the Time**

**How to ask out Marui Bunta**

**Four Days Later**

**October Ice**

**Because I Love You**

**Evil**

**Further Nonsense**

**Dear Diary**

**Kind of… the same**

**100 Word Challenges**

**Driver in a Hurry, Child in a Coma**

**Doctor, doctor!**

**The Woes of Solomon Grundy**

**I'm Not Going**

**The Little Things**

**He WHAT?!**

**Operation: Christmas Party**

Oh, and for those who haven't read any of them, that's ok; here's a basic few things you probably want to know.

1. Akaya is currently living with Niou for reasons that I can't really be bothered to go into ;p

2. Niou refers to Akaya as either Aka-chan (which means 'baby' in Japanese) or the bratling.

3. Mura Yukimura, 'Haru Niou.

Dedicated to and requested by **Lily**. Hope you like!

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4:16 pm

"What the hell kind of pansy-ass cake is that?" Niou asked, prodding it disgustedly. "There's no way in hell that's gonna be enough for two people, let alone thirty-odd."

"Well, considering I've never baked a cake before in my life," muttered Yagyuu. "Marui's the cake expert, but he's not here, you said baking was boring, Yukimura's busy with the tree, Yanagi's busy with the mistletoe, Jackal's busy buying stuff for the party, Sanada's busy with Atobe… I was the only one who was willing to do it."

"Oh, stop bitching, for crying out loud…" Niou shoved Yagyuu to the side and rolled up his sleeves. "Look, I'll do it. You go force the two happy couples to come and help us out."

"Where are they?" Yagyuu neatly avoided the poor, soggy little thing he called a cake as it was flung towards the bin.

"How should I know? Fukubuchou'll be at Atobe's, but I dunno where the bratling and the sugar freak are."

"Yeah, I meant to ask you about that actually… Did you _really_ get Sanada's permission to use his house for this party?"

"His family's gonna be out all weekend. It'll be fine."

"… You didn't ask him, did you?"

"Hell no. What, do you think he'd _let_ us hold it here? Besides, this way it means he'll be the one who has to clean up the mess afterwards. Sounds like a good idea all round, I'd say." After some debate, the Trickster pulled on an apron and started menacing the eggs.

Yagyuu edged out of the kitchen and hurried towards the livingroom. He practically burst through the door before remembering that he didn't burst, he Entered with Dignity. The effect was spoiled when he tripped over the fairy lights, but never mind that.

"Did you know that Sanada has no idea we're holding the party here?" he asked Yukimura.

Rikkai's Captain was balancing precariously on the top of a ladder, trying to position the star on the top of the huge tree without falling. Yagyuu might have been worried, except he could _feel_ the ladder desperately fighting to stop Yukimura from falling off. He nearly rolled his eyes; even inanimate objects seemed to have a bizarre infatuation with him.

Sure enough, the star was placed successfully, albeit with a bit of gravity-defiance as it tried valiantly not to look wonky, and Yukimura straightened up with a sigh of satisfaction. "Hmm?" he asked, glancing at Yagyuu. "Oh, Genichiroh? I sort of guessed. I don't think he'd have let us hold it here if he'd really been asked by 'Haru."

"Yeah, that's what he said…" Yagyuu sighed. "Why do I get the feeling that we're driving Sanada to an early grave?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it," Yukimura said, descending from the ladder. "He's got to be made of stern stuff if he's dating the drama queen to beat all drama queens." He folded up the ladder, leaning it against the wall where he'd found it, and glanced worriedly at Yagyuu. "Erm… Would you like a hand?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, no, thank you. I'm perfectly fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite positive."

Yukimura didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "I'll go and help Renji, then. Give us a shout if you decide you'd like a hand, ok?"

"Oh, of course. That won't be necessary, though."

"If you say so." Yukimura carefully stepped over Yagyuu and exited the room, leaving the Gentleman lying on his face, completely tangled in the fairy lights. He hoped Yagyuu could breathe through the carpet.

-------------------------------

4:55 pm

_Ding-dong_.

Niou threw off his apron and glowered. "If that's the same damn group of carol singers _again_ then I'm going to stuff a roadmap down their throats," he growled, stalking to the door and practically wrenching it open. Luckily for the hapless group of carol singers that had come knocking three times before, they were on the other side of the neighbourhood, and instead one Kamio Akira stood nervously on the doorstep, looking quite frightened by the irritated, flour-and-chocolate covered apparition.

"Um… Niou-san, right?" he ventured. "Tachibana-san sent me on ahead to help… the rest of the team will be arriving in about half an hour or so, so…"

Niou grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him in, shutting the door behind them. "Come and make yourself useful, then," he said, smirking at the scared expression on the younger boy's face. "You can help infect the banisters with tinsel. Go find Mura, he'll show you what to do."

"Wait, find who?"

Niou rolled his eyes, already halfway back to the kitchen. "Yukimura! Geez, is everyone from Fudoumine this dense?" he asked, feeling pleased when he felt Kamio try to glare a hole in his back.

"Which one's Yukimura?" Kamio asked through gritted teeth. "I've never seen him before!"

"He's the one that you haven't seen before, then," Niou snorted. "Honestly." He pulled his apron back on, ignoring the feeble half-protests from the poor boy standing in the hallway, wishing fervently that Tachibana-san had sent someone else.

"Who was at the door, 'Haru?" a voice called from further inside the house.

"Um, me," Kamio called back anxiously. "Kamio Akira. I'm supposed to be… infecting the banisters with tinsel?"

"… I'm sorry?" Yukimura's head popped round the corner and Kamio hurried towards it with relief. "_Infecting_ the banisters with tinsel?"

"Um, that's what Niou-san said… Are you Yukimura-san?"

"Ohh, I see. Yes, I'm Yukimura. 'Haru… Sorry, Niou, doesn't like tinsel."

"Hates it," another voice called, and Kamio caught sight of Yanagi Renji sorting through a box of the multi-coloured stuff. "He says that it makes everything look tasteless and tacky."

"Oh, right… Well, is there anything I can do to help, anyway?"

"That'd be appreciated. Where's the rest of your team?"

Kamio crouched down and started untangling the tinsel. "They're on their way. Tachibana-san sent me on ahead to help."

"Ahh, I see." Yukimura started tying the tinsel to the bottom of the banister, and worked his way up the stairs. "I think we should probably try and put as much on as we can. It would serve 'Haru right for not telling Genichiroh about using his house for the party."

"Hmm. Then again, negative reinforcement isn't something that tends to work on him. Quite the opposite, in fact."

"Well, we can always see how crabby he gets when he sees it. We might have some good evening entertainment if he gets grumpy enough to take on Genichiroh and Atobe directly."

"Mm. That should be fun."

Kamio wondered why he felt like the only sane person in the room.

-------------------------------

5:18 pm

_Ding-dong._

"Get the door!" Niou yelled from the kitchen. "I'm not getting it again!"

"We're a little busy," Yukimura called back. "Can you get it?"

Niou yanked off his apron again, opening the door and scowling at Marui Bunta and Kirihara Akaya as they grinned cheerfully at him. "Where the hell have you two been?" he demanded, pulling them in before the cold beat them to it.

"Making out," Marui chirped, pulling off his scarf and gloves and hat and coat and shoes and earmuffs and extra jumper. "Sorry we're late. Too busy laughing at you."

"At me?" Niou narrowed his eyes. "What for?"

"Oh, nothing," Marui said innocently. "Didn't know you were scared of water, 'Haru." He and Akaya made a quick dash towards the safety of their buchou before Niou could react.

"… I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT!" he yelled furiously, hugely embarrassed. "That was the condition I took you in on!" There was no reply except for a few muffled giggles, and he fled to the kitchen to regain his composure.

"What was that about Niou being scared of water?" Yanagi asked, looking highly interested.

Marui stuffed a fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing hysterically. "You… you won't believe it!" he gasped around his hand.

"Try us?" Yukimura said, settling himself down on the bottom step. Kamio was fighting the urge to back away. And also fighting the urge to gape at the boy who had sent Tachibana-san to the hospital with a manic grin on his face just a few months ago, and was now giggling happily while snuggling cutely against Yukimura's side.

"Well, didn't you think it was weird for 'Haru to do something so altruistic?" Marui asked.

"Yes," Yanagi nodded. "He did say that it was in return for something Akaya had done, didn't he though?"

"Yep! But guess what it was that Akaya did?"

Yanagi considered this, and came up blank. "Enlighten me."

"He rescued him from drowning in that tiny carp pond last spring. Apparently he's always been terrified of water, and he never learnt how to swim, and he fell into the pond. He's scared of water! That's so… so…" Marui burst out laughing.

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone," Akaya added, "so don't tell him I told you, 'k?"

"It's kind of obvious," Yanagi said. "but alright, we won't tell him."

Akaya beamed. Confused as hell, Kamio mumbled something about phoning Tachibana-san and fled.

He dialled Tachibana's number and waited anxiously for him to pick up.

"Hello? Akira?"

"Tachibana-san! Where are you? Are you nearly here?"

"Are you alright, Akira? You sound a bit panicky."

"Tachibana-san, don't come over! They're all insane! Save yourselves!"

"Akira, I think you're overreacting. They might be a little... odd, but everyone has their quirks."

"No, no, seriously! This goes beyond quirks!"

"Don't be silly, Akira. We'll be there in ten minutes."

"Tachibana-san…!"

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Kamio hung up in despair. What the hell had he let himself in for?

-------------------------------

5:30 pm

_Ding-dong_.

"Will someone else get the fucking door?!" Niou yelled from the kitchen.

"We're decorating upstairs!" Marui yelled back. "Get it yourself!"

"No! I've had to get it every single time! I'm trying to bake a fucking cake here!!"

"'Haru, I'm sure Genichiroh wouldn't like you swearing in his house. Just get the door, ok? I'll get it next time."

"Fine! Fine then!" Pulling off his apron _again_ (it was starting to look a lot worse for wear), Niou answered the door.

"My, my, Niou-kun. You don't look particularly festive with that scowl of yours," Oshitari Yuushi said, smiling with amusement.

Niou resisted the urge to make a rude gesture and stepped to the side, gesturing everyone in. The entire Hyoutei team had arrived together, it seemed, and they filed in one by one. Niou eyed them, resentful that he'd had to leave the kitchen again to let them in. First came Oshitari Yuushi ('_Damn smug bastard_'), then Mukahi Gakuto ('_Flippy, bendy, twisty little bitch_'), Kabaji Munehiro ('_Retarded yes-man'_), Shishido Ryoh ('_Arrogant prick_'), Akutagawa Jirou ('_Drowsy idiot_'), Ohtori Choutarou ('_Um… Ah, too damn nice for his own good!_') and Wakashi Hiyoshi ('_… Don't know him at all, but he has zero fashion sense_').

"Regretfully, we aren't entirely sure where Atobe is," Oshitari said, placing his shoes neatly next to the others, "but I'm sure he'll turn up. This is Sanada's house after all, yes?"

"Yeah. Go… make yourselves comfortable, or something," Niou said, heading back to the kitchen.

Yukimura came round the corner and smiled sweetly at them, walking forward to greet them. "Ah, welcome. I apologise if Niou's been less than hospitable – he's not in a very good mood right now."

"Really? I couldn't tell," Oshitari said, smiling back. It was hard to tell whether he was being tactful, snide, sarcastic or sincere.

"Kamio-kun from Fudoumine is already here, but apart from him you're the first guests to arrive," said Yukimura. "I'm afraid we're still putting up decorations and whatnot, but please feel free to help yourselves to party food, punch, etc. I do advise you to take plenty of punch now rather than later; I managed to make all of my team promise not to spike it, but Seigaku's Inui will be arriving shortly and so…"

Oshitari nodded. "Of course. Thank you for the warning."

"Tell them to put on the Christmas CD!" Marui yelled from upstairs.

"Yes, if you could please set that up? It's in the front room," Yukimura pointed to it. "It's very easy to operate, and the CD's already inside, I think."

"Of course."

"Thank you," Yukimura said, smiling, and he went back upstairs.

"… Is he male?" Gakuto asked blankly. "I honest to god can't tell."

"That's rich," Shishido snorted. The group started to move towards the front room. "You're the one who looks like a woman."

"Shishido-san," Choutarou chided gently. "Mukahi-senpai doesn't look like a woman."

"…" Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Yeesh, even _I_ admit I look like a woman sometimes," Gakuto said.

Choutarou flushed and protested, "But it's not a very nice thing to say, even so…"

"Maybe he's a closet cross-dresser?" Shishido suggested with a smirk, earning a fast smack on the back of his head from the acrobat.

They entered the living room and the first three in, Oshitari, Jirou and Kabaji, promptly tripped over. Oshitari managed to keep himself from falling completely, glancing in astonishment at the object they'd tripped over.

"Um…?" he said. "Are you… alright?"

"Who, me? Oh, yes. Perfectly fine, thank you very kindly." Yagyuu's voice was muffled by the carpet, but each word was perfectly clear.

"Ah, alright then…"

"Would you like a hand?" Choutarou ventured, concerned.

"Oh, no, don't mind me. Please, do make yourselves comfortable."

"… Ok…" Gakuto jumped over him and started to inspect the Christmas tree. The others stepped over Yagyuu carefully.

"What's he doing?" Jirou whispered loudly to Oshitari. "He's all tangled up! Can he breathe like that, do you think?"

"Putting up the fairy lights and failing? Taking a tea break? I don't know," Oshitari whispered back.

"Oh, I found the CD player," Shishido called, switching it on and pressing the play button. Inanely cheerful Christmas jingles started to play. Grinning broadly, Jirou immediately bounced over and turned the volume up.

"See? Now it really sounds like Christmas!" he cheered.

There was a crashing sound from the direction of the kitchen, and barely two seconds later Niou barrelled into the room, completely ignoring his doubles partner and instead glaring daggers at the people nearest the CD player.

"Who. The. HELL put that on?" he demanded through gritted teeth. "I am literally in _pain_ here."

"Now, now. You did promise Mura that you'd let everything go festively," Yagyuu said muffledly.

Niou whirled round and delivered a cross mini-kick to Yagyuu's arm. "Shut up, Hiroshi. This isn't festive, this is… this is… like watching tiny snot-nosed kids put on a Nativity."

"Cute and heart-warming?" Jirou suggested hopefully.

"No, painful and annoying!" growled Niou. "Turn it off."

"Please ignore him," Yagyuu said, tone apologetic. "He's not in a very good mood."

"Yes, Yukimura said that too," Oshitari nodded.

Kabaji suddenly gave a powerful sneeze, pulling everyone's attention to him. He _almost_ looked embarrassed by the attention, and said monotonously, "Something's burning."

Niou's eyes widened. "Oh, _fucking_ hell…!" He dashed back to the kitchen to rescue his cake.

"So that's Niou Masaharu," Shishido said dryly. "What a colourful character."

"I apologise for his language as well," Yagyuu added. "I hope he didn't offend anyone."

"I don't think so," Oshitari shrugged, glancing questioningly at Choutarou who blushed and shook his head. "No, it's alright."

Shishido helped himself to some punch, handing a cup to Choutarou. "Yagyuu, right? So who else is coming?" he asked.

"Atobe should hopefully be turning up at some point," he might not have been able to see, but it was obvious by the lack of Atobe's voice that he wasn't there, "and the rest of Fudoumine. Seigaku will be coming soon too. Oh, and Sanada, of course."

"Oh, right. Cool. What about Yamabuki and Rokkaku and them?"

"We did invite them, but it seems they're attending a special festive tournament of some kind and they can't make it," Yagyuu said, attempting to shrug and not quite making it thanks to the coils of fairy light wire.

"Ah. Pity," Oshitari mused, sipping some punch of his own, "I would have liked to meet that Saeki boy. He seems very interesting, if Fuji-kun's description is anything to go by."

"Yeah. Oh well, never mind."

-------------------------------

6:04 pm

_Ding-dong_.

"Mura, you _promised_!" Niou called from the kitchen.

"I know, I know, I'm really sorry! But I really, really can't come down right now; we're putting up the light outside and if I let go, Akaya might fall out the window."

"So let him! Might do him a bit of good!"

"Please, 'Haru?"

Cursing darkly under his breath, Niou put down the icing tube and went to answer the door. The Christmas music had been turned up to full volume (which wasn't actually all that loud; Niou made a mental note to make Yukimura make Sanada get a CD player that wasn't a hundred years out of date) and the Christmas decorations were all but done. All in all, the place looked very festive.

He opened the door and gestured the people outside in with a sharp tilt of his head. "You had _so_ better be the last ones," he muttered, kicking the door shut as the last of the guests trooped in. "Jackal can squeeze himself through the letterbox or something; I'm not letting him in." Fudoumine and Seigaku had coincidentally managed to arrive together, it seemed. Tachibana was fiercely glomped by Kamio as he took his shoes off.

"Tachibana-san! You're here!" Kamio whimpered. Tachibana patted him consolingly and turned him over to Shinji, who started mumbling at Kamio in an effort to make him feel better.

"Go play nice with Hyoutei," Niou said, pointing to the front room. "Oh, and I was told to tell you," he nodded at Tezuka and Tachibana, "to keep things civil until fukubuchou gets here. Kapeesh? You're in charge until either Mura's finished decorating upstairs, or fukubuchou comes and finishes having a hissy fit."

"Why would Sanada have a hissy fit?" Eiji asked curiously.

"_That_ is something I'd like to see," Inui mused, glasses glinting in the dim lights. Niou smirked a little.

"Oh, yes. They're rare as an unused crayon within a hundred miles of Aka-chan, but it'll make you feel fuzzy all over. Very fun."

"But why would he have one?" Eiji asked again.

"Cos he doesn't know we're using his house to hold the party," Niou shrugged. "His bad. Anyway, go play nice, help yourselves to food, yadda yadda. The party'll begin properly in a couple of minutes." He went back to the kitchen to finish icing the cake.

The Seigaku and Fudoumine member exchanged glances, and headed towards the front room.

"Yay, yay, yay!" Eiji chanted under his breath. "This is gonna be so fun! Ne, Fuji?"

"Oh, yes. Very fun." Tezuka did _not_ like the smile on the tensai's face. It was far too happy. A happy Fuji tended to mean suffering for someone else, and a damn big headache for him. Good thing he'd come prepared with a bottle of various painkillers.

-------------------------------

Sandy: Mwa ha. Stage one: Complete. $.$ Next up; Yanagi and Inui have far too much fun coming up with party games.

If you liked, then please review! If you wanna see more soon, then please review! If you are vaguely human in any way, shape or form, please review! 33 Suggestions, requests, ideas, questions, comments, constructive criticism, blind adoration (xp)… all are welcomed and loved.

Until next time!


	2. Stage Two: Games ahoy!

**Disclaimer: **Want them, but don't have them.

**Rating: **PG, I guess? Possibly PG-13.

**Warnings: **Some language dotted about, total crackness, some OOC, crack, shounen-ai/yaoi, crackness, Niou (he's a warning all by himself – you'll see what I mean. Watch out for his abusive language! It's not very nice or festive). Did I mention; beware the complete and utter crack?

**Chapter summary: **Party games and very convenient happenings. Everyone freakin' loves Yukimura, baby!! x3

**Author's notes: **Eh heh heh… Yeah, I know, Christmas has been and gone… -sweatdrops- Can I blame the hecticness that is the Christmas holidays?

Well, anyway, here's stage two. Sorry for the delay… on the bright side, you can all pretend it's still Christmas, ne? x33

My love to **Linc**, **Sakia Ishida, Immaginator, Eiki Angel **(hope you don't mind me shortening your name, love… I'm a lazy SOB ;p) **Kirihara Akaya, Sky Rose, Pikke Wood, Milenalupin, Ahotep, May-Linn **(special kudos to you for attempting to nag me –nodnod- I'm really sorry I couldn't update sooner. Happy late birthday! If you wanna request a birthday drabblething, do let me know and I'll see what I can do (might be a wee while before I can actually get it posted, but… yeah… lol), **Merissala **(-steals-), **Mirokarosu, Skyblue147, Lily, Youngdaughterofdarkness **(yes ma'am!), **Risa-chan **(more nickage), **Ria Sakazaki, Ryuu Amethyst, Suki-megane, Toh Sock **("I LOVE HOW ALL OF THE INANIMATE OBJECTS ARE AFTER YUKIMURA'S AFFECTIONS". Well, they would be, wouldn't they? I know I would be, if I was a chair or a ladder ;p), **Yuunon hitei2314, Jomei, Lupuslupin **and **Aya-Mikage2002**.

How freakin' cute would Hiyoshi look in glasses? I would kill to find out. Totally.

Dedicated to and requested by **Lily**. You all have her to thank. ;p

----------------------------------

6:06 pm

"Truth or dare!" Jirou giggled, falling off the sofa with a thud and beaming drunkenly at everyone who turned to look at him. He hiccoughed.

Fuji sat back in the chair he'd chosen and "Mm"ed. "Purely by coincidence," he said casually, "I believe Inui brought along an experimental little something that might make truth or dare a very fun game. Inui?"

Inui's glasses gleamed. "Thank you, Fuji. As a matter of fact, I brought along an experimental truth serum that should work very well. Only we'd have to play I Never instead, because it'd be hard to move around for a little while after taking it."

"That's… convenient," Momo could be heard muttering.

"Yay!" Jirou hiccoughed again. Oshitari and Fuji exchanged glances. Tezuka, Yukimura and Akaya could understand little fragments of the silent conversation, but to everyone else, the highly complex language of Tensai-Talk went unnoticed.

'You know, I could have sworn the punch was non-alcoholic,' Oshitari said, a question in his eyes.

'Don't look at me. I promised Tezuka that I wouldn't mess with any of the edible stuff.'

'Whipped.'

'Shut up, Yuushi. You're no better with Mukahi. Anyway, did anyone actually _tell_ Jirou that the punch was non-alcoholic?'

'No, not as such…'

'Well, then.'

'I see your point. Jirou has a very active imagination.' Satisfied, both tensai rejoined the world of the mortal folk.

"Well then, let's play," Marui grinned enthusiastically. He sat down and gestured for everyone else to join. They all did, some (much) more reluctantly than others, and they just about managed to fit in a circle on the floor. Being the smallest, Ryoma had to fit in the space under the Christmas tree. Sucks to be him.

"Um, don't we need drinks to play I Never?" Choutarou ventured. The door opened and Niou entered.

"Well, of course," he said smugly, producing a large bottle of whisky and enough shot glasses for everyone seemingly from thin air. "Oh, and nobody's allowed in the kitchen until the icing's set," he added, squeezing himself in between Yukimura and Yanagi. "It's very delicate."

"Hai," several people chorused. The shot glasses were given out, Inui pouring a little of his truth serum into each glass. Once everyone had drunk theirs, the glasses were filled with whisky and the game began.

"I get to go first!" Gakuto said as Jirou opened his mouth. "Ok, right, I never…" he thought for a moment, and then looked up as words reached his ears.

"It's not very fair, playing a game that not everyone understands without explaining it first. They should explain. Otherwise the people that don't understand might do something wrong and then feel embarrassed. That's not a kind thing to do. Maybe I should ask. But then I'd be interrupting the game. Maybe-"

"Does everyone know how to play?" Oshitari said loudly, looking pointedly at Shinji.

"I don't," Kamio said nervously.

"Then you should have said so at the beginning, shouldn't you?" Niou snorted. "Too late now, Speedy McRhythm."

"'Haru, be a little more festive, would you?" Yukimura chided. He turned to Shinji and Kamio. "It's very simple," he explained. "When it's your turn, you say something that you've never done. When it's not your turn, you take a drink whenever somebody says something that they've never done, but you have. If you haven't done the thing they say, then you don't take a drink. Do you understand?"

Kamio and Shinji nodded mutely. Tachibana was a little unnerved to see the uncharacteristic shine in their eyes as they looked at Rikkai's buchou, but he shrugged it off.

Inui and Yanagi gave each other a tiny nod and surreptitiously got their pens and notebooks at the ready. Data like this was not to be passed up. As Gakuto started to speak again, they started to scribble in hasty shorthand.

'Mukahi: Ok, ok, I've never eaten a boiled egg.

Drinkers: Everyone bar Kuwahara, Choutarou, Kirihara.

--

Oshitari: I've never owned a cat. Even for a day.

Mukahi: -scowl-

Drinkers: Mukahi, Fuji, Eiji, Kaidoh, the entire Fudoumine team, Marui, Echizen.

--

Shishido: I've never eaten pizza with a fork.

Drinkers: Tezuka.

Everyone: -strange looks at Tezuka- -no visible facial response from him-

--

Choutarou: Um… I've never… drunk before today?

Drinkers: Fudoumine bar Tachibana, Tezuka, Kabaji.

--

Yanagi: Yagyuu? Would you like to play?

Yagyuu: Hmm?

Yanagi: I said, would you like to play?

Yagyuu: Oh, no thank you.

Marui: Um… you sure?

Kirihara: Seriously, senpai, do you want a hand getting untangled?

Akutagawa: -whispers loudly- Can he breathe through the carpet?

Yagyuu: I'm absolutely fine, thank you. Please, do carry on.

Kirihara: Um, ok…

--

Akutagawa: I've never dyed my hair!

Drinkers: Gakuto, Eiji, Echizen, Marui

Niou: Does bleached count?

Akutagawa: Um… yeah!

Drinkers: Niou, Jackal, Tachibana.

Oshitari: Does it count if someone else dyed your hair?

Akutagawa: Yep!

Drinkers: Ishida, Shishido, Choutarou, Niou –murderous glare at Kirihara-, Tezuka, Eiji, Kaidoh.

--

Kabaji: …

Oshitari: He says he's never smiled.

Everyone: … -.-;;

Drinkers: Everyone

--

Wakashi: I've never fallen out of a tree.

Drinkers: Mukahi, the entire Rikkai team bar Yukimura, Inui, Akutagawa, Eiji, Momo.

--

Tachibana: I've never tripped over a tennis ball.

Kamio: Tachibana-san!

Drinkers: Kamio, Kirihara.

--

Kamio: Fine, I've never had a little sister.

Drinkers: Tachibana, Ibu, Ishida, Yukimura, Kabaji, Kawamura, Momoshiro, Oishi.

--

Ibu: What should I say? There are so many things that I haven't done, it's difficult to pick one. I suppose I should pick one that would mean the most people would have to take a drink, but I don't know much about everyone, only Akira. Maybe I should do one that would make only him drink. But then that's a bit unfair, because he didn't do that to me.

Kamio: Oh, for god's sake, Shinji!

Ibu: Mmm. I've never built a chair that collapsed ten seconds after being finished, then.

Drinkers: Kamio, Kirihara.

--

Ishida: I've never… driven a car?

Drinkers: Niou, Kirihara, Fuji.

--

Uchimura: I've never… crashed a car?

Drinkers: Niou, Kirihara, Fuji.

--

Mori: I've never worn a bandana.

Drinkers: Ishida, Kaidoh, Niou, Marui, Kuwahara, Fuji, Kawamura.

--

Sakurai: Um… I've never lied about crashing a car…?

Niou: Stop with the car thing already!!

Sakurai: -Eeps-

Drinkers: Niou, Kirihara, Fuji.

--

Oishi: I've never done a backflip.

Drinkers: Kikumaru, Mukahi, Tezuka.

Oishi: Eeeh? Tezuka?!

Tezuka: -No visible facial response-

--

Kikumaru: I've never owned fish.

Drinkers: Oishi, Kamio, Kirihara, all of Fudoumine.

Kirihara: -Mutters- I had a goldfish called Kin-chan. But then Niou-senpai ate it.

Everyone: o.0;;

--

Kawamura: Um, I've never… um… -tries to think- smoked?

Drinkers: Niou, Kirihara (guiltily trying to stop himself).

Yukimura: Akaya! What did we talk about? Smoking is not a good thing to do!

Kirihara: -Looks guilty-

Yukimura: When was this?

Kirihara: Um, um…

Yukimura: … Akaya.

Kirihara: -Sniffles- Two weeks ago! I'm sorry, Mura-buchou! I didn't mean to! –To Inui- I hate your truth serum!

Yukimura: 'Haru, we'll be talking about keeping your cigarettes somewhere safe.

Niou: -Gulps-

--

Kaidoh: I've never broken a tennis racquet on purpose.

Drinkers: Marui, Shishido, Tezuka.

Oishi: Eeeh? Tezuka?

Tezuka: -Still no visible facial response. Note to self: Must check to see if his brain is still functioning-

--

Inui: I've never drunk Ponta.

Drinkers: Echizen, Mukahi, Oshitari, Ohtori, Jirou, Fuji, Kikumaru, Kirihara, Marui, Yanagi, Yukimura, Shinji, Mori, Uchimura.

--

Momoshiro: I've never been called Mamushi!

Kaidoh: -Glares- You wanna start?

Momoshiro: Ha!

Inui: Now, now, Kaidoh.

Drinkers: Kaidoh

--

Echizen: I've never worn glasses.

Drinkers: Oshitari, Tezuka, Inui, Wakashi, Niou, Kamio, Marui, Fuji.

--

Tezuka: I've never swallowed a pencil by mistake.

Kikumaru: … Where did that come from?

Drinkers: Fuji.

Kikumaru: … Oh, right.

--

Fuji: -Smiles sweetly- I've never had a crush on Atobe.

Drinkers: Tezuka (very, very reluctantly. All of Seigaku bar Echizen tries not to laugh), Akutagawa, Shishido, Ohtori, Yanagi, Oshitari.

Mukahi: Yuushi!!

Oshitari: That was three years ago, Gaku. Don't worry about it.

--

Yanagi: I believe that turnabout is fair play, hmm? Therefore, I've never had a crush on Ibu-kun.

Niou: Oi, leave me out of your damn power games, Yanagi.

Drinkers: Fuji, Niou, Kamio, Tezuka, Ishida, Mori, Uchimura, Sakurai, Echizen (Momo: Wait, so you _can_ have normal human feelings?), Kawamura, Mukahi, Yukimura, Kuwahara.

Tachibana: … Woah.

Ibu: … I'm really, really scared now.

Niou: -Grins and winks- Hey, you're a popular guy, huh?

Ibu: -Tries to hide behind his shot glass. Doesn't work since glass is transparent-

--

Kuwahara: I know who's more popular. I've never had a crush on Mura.

Drinkers: Everyone. Bar Yukimura, of course.

Kuwahara: -Looks smug- See? I alone am immune! I alone stand aloft! I alone can resist the charms of the demon!

Yukimura: Demon?

Kuwahara: How else can you explain the affection that even _chairs_ hold for thee, o Buchou?

Yukimura: … Are you feeling alright, Jackal?

Kuwahara: MWA HA HA HA HA!!!

Marui: Uh huh… Yeah, time to go beddy-byes now. –Hits him on the head-

Jackal: Zzzzzzz… fire… zzzzz… baldness… zzzzz… armadillos…

Yukimura: Anyway. I believe it's your turn, Bunta?

--

Marui: Yeah. Sorry for Jackal, by the way, guys. It's the lack of hair. Anyway, I've never been mistaken for a girl.

Drinkers: Mukahi, Fuji, Yukimura.

--

Kirihara: -Giggles- And I've never knocked out the person who made the mistake.

Drinkers: Mukahi, Fuji, Yukimura.

--

Yukimura: Hmm. I've never been entered in the police records as a natural disaster.

Drinkers: Niou, Kirihara, Fuji, Marui, Tezuka.

Oishi: Wait, what?!

Tezuka: -Slowly keels over. Face remains the same-

Oishi: … Tezuka?! Tezuka!!

Yanagi: Hmmmm. As I suspected. This isn't the real Tezuka.

Oishi: Wait, what?!

Yanagi: I knew it couldn't be the real Tezuka. Ingenious.

Oishi: Wait, what?!

Niou: Stop saying that, idiot.

Shishido: But, if it's not Tezuka…?

Yanagi: It's a robotic replication.

All of Rikkai: (Variations of) Ohhh, right. That makes sense.

Everyone else: … Wait, what?!

Niou: -Rolls eyes- It's obvious. Tezuka probably didn't want to have anything to do with this party.

Yanagi: Yes. Look; there are cameras behind the eyes. He must have been watching from home. Hello, Tezuka. Can you hear me?

Robot Tezuka: -Spasms weakly-

Yanagi: I'll take that as a yes.

Yukimura: I think we'd better put a halt to the game and try and get it fixed.

Yanagi: Good idea. It was probably the whisky. It must have messed up the internal mechanisms.

All of Rikkai: (Variations of) Ohhh, right. That makes sense.

Everyone else: … Wait, what?!

--

Niou: Hey, hang on! I'm the last person, I want my go!

Yagyuu: -Muffled- If we stop now, it'll mean we can have your cake.

Niou: -Teleports to the kitchen-

Yagyuu: Good, good. Carry on.

-------------------------------

Sandy: Ta da. :) Stage two: Complete. Hope you liked, sorry again for the delay. Yes, I know it's a bit short. I had to cut it off there, because the next chapter's gonna be a big one. Besides, I wanted to get this posted as soon as possible.

Please, please review, even if it's just a sentence! It would make my day, plus, I'd get the next chapter out faster.

P.S. To everyone who's made a drabblething or a fic request… it's coming! Honest to god! LOL

Until next time! $.$


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